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Nurture Your Asperger's Child
By Phyllis Wheeler
You want to find out more about Asperger's Syndrome. You are
learning about what doctors are calling the autism spectrum, which ranges from
odd-normal on the one hand to seriously impaired, especially socially, on the
other. You desperately want to help your child move toward normalcy on the
spectrum. Do not give up! It is quite possible that he can. You need to
provide him with situations that will give him self-confidence. If you don't,
the world will deal him the opposite.
Here's one key tip: if at all possible, teach your child
music. People on the autism spectrum often have exceptional musical talent,
even folks who have trouble speaking and learning. Perfect pitch is not
particularly rare for them. This will give you child a skill to excel in, or at
least to enjoy, all his life. The problem may be to find a flexible teacher who
is not intimidated by your unusual student. Look for a professional music
therapist, or someone with experience dealing with special needs folks.
Requiring practicing every day can be built into your system of rewards for your
child, a system you need to figure out. This reward system will provide an
incentive for doing chores and homework. The music lessons have worked well for
my brother as well as my children.
Your child probably tends to isolate himself, and may love to
talk and talk about one subject. Patience! During the middle school years, your
child will probably begin to be more aware that he is being rejected socially.
Finally, he may be motivated to try to change his ways! Look for this
developmental stage, and when it arrives, do everything you can to teach your
child social acceptability.
This might include:
- Social skills groups with other Aspies taught by a professional (Speech
therapists are stepping into this need; so are social workers specializing
in coaching kids with learning disabilities.)
- Working with him yourself. Set aside 15 minutes a day during Homework
Time to play conversation games.
- Sending him to a special-needs school that will help with this. I
believe that mainstreaming the child without any support is not helpful.
These children need careful coaching on how to interact with others, and
protection from bullying.
Speaking of bullying, this is one of the most damaging situations for your
child's feelings of self worth.
Mainstreaming may just be exposing your child to negative interactions, not
positive ones. If this is necessary for your situation, see if you can
volunteer at the school to be nearby, or get the school to hire a shadow for
your child. Then talk to that person and tell him exactly what you want them to
do: protect the child from negative interactions with peers. Our culture
tolerates bullying and negative teasing, but both of those will be damaging to
your child.
- Homeschooling may be another option for you. There is plenty of
information on the Internet available for this.
- You may be able to find a school that controls most peer interactions.
This might be a private special-needs school.
In short, there are steps you can take to protect your child's self-esteem. Be
sure to take them!
About the Author
Phyllis Wheeler has two children with Asperger's, one now an adult. She also has
a brother with high-functioning autism. A writer, she has assembled her
strategies in a ebook called
Nurturing Your Asperger's
Child.
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