I bury myself in my busyness…

Do you have this problem too?

When I take time in the morning to spend time with God, to come to the waters and drink, I feel and know the Lord with me throughout the day. But there’s this stubborn person inside of me that doesn’t want to do that. Instead this person wants to sit and read the newspaper.

I know it’s my fallen self, the one I inherited from Adam and Eve, wanting to turn away from God and go my own way. Forge my own path for the day. Bury myself in my busyness.

For me the decision comes before breakfast. Do I sit there and pull out my Bible, or do I scan the headlines and get lost in the newspaper? Too often, the newspaper wins. And here’s the corker: sometimes I pull out my Bible study, read the passage, answer the questions, and still don’t come to the waters and drink. I’m in task mode, completing the task, and I fail to repent of turning away. I fail to hand my day over to the Lord but keep it for myself, although I can certainly convince myself that I’ve “done my quiet time.”

What I want more than anything is what David had: “As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs for you, O God.” (Ps 42)  Yet I continually prevent it. I just pick up the newspaper.

Do you struggle with this too?

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